The Unusual Prisoner
by Weepingangels91011
Summary: River and the Doctor return after one of their adventures only to find a new adventure where they least expected it: in the heart of Stormcage. An unusual prisoner has arrived and caused quite a disturbance. This story takes place after 'The Wedding of River Song'. (this is my first Fanfic, hope you guys like it!)
1. Chapter 1

The familiar wheezing sound of the Tardis resonated through the halls of Stormcage. The sound blended with the also typical sound of alarms. River stepped out of the small blue box with an amused expression. "Well, it seems they've noticed I'm missing, Sweetie," she glanced at her watch before continuing, "no small wonder, considering that we are over an hour past when we left! I told you I should have driven."

Before the Doctor could even begin on what would surely have been a not-so-clever retort, a guard came rushing up to them. "Back to your cell, Dr. Song; we don't have time to deal with you right now!"

"What do you mean? I thought all these alarms were for me, or am I missing something?"inquired River. The ground suddenly shook with a horrid tremble as an explosion sounded nearby.

The Doctor straightened his bowtie before turning to the guard and saying, "what is going on here? And don't even bother acting like nothing is up, because something is definitely occurring."

The guard looked extremely nervous while answering, "I am not qualified to say anything on this matter...," after a look from the Doctor, he continued, "some new prisoner got transferred here. Apparently, whoever it is, is extremely powerful. The prisoner is also extremely dangerous; she has been placed into seven of the worlds best prisons, and escaped each time! It's rumored she blew half of them up as well...," the guard trailed off, afraid he'd said too much.

"she blew up a bunch of the universe's best prisons? Interesting... I think I like her," Said River jokingly, "I hope my status doesn't get downgraded, I rather enjoy being the most dangerous prisoner here. I don't want her, whoever she is, to steal my title."

"oh, not the just the prisons" replied the nervous guard, seemingly oblivious to most of what river had said, "the whole planets, even solar systems, where the prisons were placed. She blew up a few before that too, that's why she was put in prison to begin with."

"That's...odd," stated the Doctor. River could practically see the gears spinning inside his head, trying to figure out who, or what, could possibly do such a thing.

"Well, sounds like fun. Let's go see who this unusual prisoner is!" said the Doctor. He grabbed his wife's hand, and without another word from the guard, they ran straight to the place of the explosion.


	2. Chapter 2

River and the Doctor made their way through a dusty, smoking corridor. They passed several guards who didn't even seem to notice them. This may or may not be because they were all putting out variouse smoking, flaming objects. They eventually reached the location that had apparently been the center of the blast. Nobody appeared to be injured, but most seemed afraid. There was a large, rugged hole where there had previously been a door. Two voices, one furious and the other amused, were arguing inside the severely charred room. A guard blocked River and the Doctor's path.

"You are not allowed here. Actually, shouldn't you be in your cell?" the guard inquired. He appeared rather resolute upon blocking their progress.

"Her? Perhaps. However I think we would rather stay here for the time being, to make sure you idiots don't allow the whole prison to blow up," the Doctor responded in his rapid, machine gun pace.

"Information would be much appreciated," added River in a sweet tone that made you hesitant to disobey.

While River and the Doctor were questioning the guard in the hall, the Warden's short fuse of a temper was getting closer and closer to exploding. He was talking to a girl who appeared to be about 13. She had golden blonde hair with the most peculiar ginger streaks. Her eyes were an almost blinding shade of gold which were alight with a playful, amused expression. Sort of like that of a cat who was playing with her food. Oh, and she also happened to be restrained to a table by a complex system of metal chains and belts. You would've expected her to appear afraid, or at least concerned. However, she seemed perfectly calm and relaxed about her situation.

"I shall ask you ONE MORE TIME!" shouted the Warden, his red face rapidly turning purple in his rage, "Why did you try to blow up my prison?"

"One more time? Really? That's what you said the last, wellllllll... half dozen times you've asked," replied the girl with a smirk, "Sorry if I don't really believe you there. Repeating yourself as you are, I am starting to think that perhaps you've... oh what do they say? oh right... swallowed a broken record. Whatever a record is..."

"You think you're funny, do ya?" barked the Warden. She tilted her head to the side with a shrug in a way to indicate that she did rather find herself amusing. The Warden continued, "And I will stop asking when you actually answer the question."

"I can't answer a question when you're asking it COMPLETELY wrong. I didn't _try_ to blow up the prison. If I had it would have been completely and effectively blown up," she replied, grinning. The Warden's face passed purple and turned blue earning the sarcastically accurate comment, "Might want to breathe there Warden."

He gritted his teeth before saying, "Okay then. Why did you cause an explosion in my prison?"

"Hmmm... why would I cause an explosion in _your_ prison, you ask. Now that doesn't make any sense at all!" she replied with heavy sarcasm before lifting her right arm to indicate her restraints, "Well, as a prisoner, I do intend to escape. Or at least ditch these horrendous restraints! Being tied up IS rather uncomfortable. _Especially _with metal."

"You would blow up this prison, killing countless people, simply to escape? Just like you've blown up numerous planets previously? And that doesn't bother you?" the Warden inquired angrily.

"I _told _you. That was an accident!" she said in an exasperated tone that didn't reach her eyes, which seemed suddenly far away.

"People don't _accidentally _blow up planets," he explained just as exasperated.

"People?" she said shocked, "Am I people? Do I seem even remotely like people to you? People, maybe not. Me, more often than you'd think."

"You're insane!" he yelled.

"Well, to answer that question we first must ask ourselves what really qualifies as 'insane'. It really is down to opinion. If someone is even the slightest bit weird or different, somebody may think that they are insane. But really, nothing is weirder than being absolutely normal, and that means both being different and being normal is weird, and if both are weird than both can be considered insane. That basically means that everybody is, in fact, insane! And if everybody is insane, then everybody must also be perfectly sane. So really, I'm not insane at all!" she finished elated at her reasonable explanation.

Having not followed a word of what she'd said, the Warden decided to change course, "Then you're a sociopath! A murderous sociopath!"

"I'm not really _murderous_, that implies premeditation. And I pride myself in being a psycopath, not a sociopath! Well, I _use_ to consider myself a 'highly functioning sociopath', sort of like Sherlock. But I once had a friend who identified as a psycopath, and I find it's much more fun!" she finished with a smile.

River and the Doctor were now standing in the hole in the wall, having gotten past the guard with some hallucinagenic lipstick. They were now listening, intrigued, to the conversation which was now a monologue as the girl continued speaking rapidly, "It was back on Earth, centuries ago. We loved shooting things, and stealing things, and our other friend would bail us out whenever we got put in jail! We would also joke about killing eachother all the time! Loads of fun..." she ranted.

River's face went quickly from surprised, to confused, then amused. "Artemis?" she asked the girl who she had begun to recognize.

She turned her head back to look at River, "Oh, I go by Celestia now. Nice to see you again Mels! Has Amelia figured out she's your mum yet?" spoke Celestia cheerfully. The Warden looked downright flabbergasted, and the Doctor pleasantly surprised. River merely smiled in amused disbelief.


	3. Chapter 3

River was the first to break the silence. "How are you here?" she inquired.

"Same way as you I suppose," replied Celestia, "Time travel."

"Yes, that much is obvious," River replied annoyed, "But how are you here, as in alive. Last time I saw you, you got blown to pieces. You died."

"I got better," said Celestia with a smirk.

This intrigued the Doctor. "How? How did you 'get better'?", he inquired.

"Dunno," she lazily replied, "I just... did. Just like every other time I've ever died."

"People don't just get better when they die!" fumed the Warden.

"Haven't we previously established that I shouldn't be labeled as people and that they're standards therefore don't apply?" remarked Celestia, effectively shutting the Warden up.

The Doctor, having seemingly missed the last part of the converstation, inquired, "Do you die often?"

Celestia spent a moment pondering before responding, "Well, dying multiple times is probably considered often. But even considering that, yes I do die quite often. Maybe... once a week or so. But I always get better so I don't really care."

River and the Doctor exchanged a conversation in a glance. _Do you think she's a_ _Timelord?_ asked River in an inquisitive glance._ No, too many regenerations. Timelords just don't get that many. _The Doctor seemed to respond with a slight shake of his head.

The Doctor's smile became a thoughtful frown and River's lips were pursed thoughtfully as well. They didn't notice that Celestia had been eyeing them curiously.

"Can you two read eachothers minds?" asked Celestia before continuing, "If so, cool but it's annoying so don't. If not, still don't because I loathe being left out of conversations, especially those of importance."

The Warden, who had been watching the conversation with the ridiculously stupid look of a fish out of water, recovered his voice and his wits and bellowed, "Prisoner Song! You should be in your cell. You should not be here! Neither should you, Doctor. I demand you leave at once!"

In response to this the Doctor cracked an amused smile while River and Celestia straight out laughed.

"I am serious! I am in charge of this prison and I demand that you leave at once!" ordered the Warden.

River smirked, "Do you honestly still believe that you are in charge? I didn't realize you were so deluded! The guards follow my orders better than they do yours. If anyone is in charge, it's me."

"She's right ya'know," stated Celestia, "You really aren't in charge here. Actually, out of all the prisons which I have had the misfortune of attending, you are then most pathetic Warden with the most pathetic control over your prison."

"Out of all the prisons you've attended? That would be what, 13? The same number of planets which it has been confirmed you blew up. Planets with people that you have murdered. Are you going to do the same here?" raged the Warden.

The Doctor carefully watched Celestia as a guilty, pained expression crossed her face. "I didn't mean to," she whispered as her voice cracked, "I never, ever meant to kill anyone! It was an accident!" She pleaded, wanting someone to forgive her so that she could start to forgive herself.

River watched as the Doctor and Celestia met eyes. Both pairs of eyes held the same ancient grief and sadness. The same haunted expression was painted on their faces. The same guilt in burning their souls.

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. I know it's a rubbish excuse, but i was too busy reading fanfiction to write it! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please, please review!**


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